Japanese household manners

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There are customs and set phrases that are important to know if you'll be visiting someone's home in Japan.

Entering a home

You're entering your friend's house.

Formal

お邪魔じゃまします。

Thanks for having me.

お-

・

hindrance

・

You say this as you enter someone's home as a guest.

Female Voice

Male Voice

This is a set phrase, so make sure you say します and not する, even if you're visiting relatives or close friends.

You should say お邪魔じゃまします either right as you walk through the doorway, or when you step up into someone's house from the 玄関げんかん entryway.

A 玄関げんかん is the area in a Japanese home right inside the entrance. This is where you take off your shoes. There is typically a single step up into the house from the 玄関げんかん.

The word 邪魔じゃま means something like "hindrance" or "obstacle." In saying お邪魔じゃまします, you're relating that you're imposing on the person by entering their home.

The kanji for 邪魔じゃま are pretty fun.

Few things are more of a "hindrance" than some 邪 wicked 魔 magic.

Taking off your shoes

This was alluded to above, but you'll always want to remove your shoes when entering someone's home. This is also true of many temples and shrines.

A sign that is posted at the entrance of a temple.

Casual

土足厳禁どそくげんきん

No shoes allowed.

wearing shoes

・

strict prohibition

Female Voice

Male Voice

土足どそく, literally "dirt feet," refers to the act of wearing shoes into a place you shouldn't, a serious cultural faux pas in Japan.

Shoes are viewed as being quite dirty in Japan, so you shouldn't put them on things, either. For example, if you're stepping on a chair to grab something you can't reach, you should take off your shoes first.

Shoes are only for the ground outside or in public places with lots of foot traffic. Many (high-end) shops and restaurants will also require you to remove your shoes when entering. They'll give you slippers to wear instead.

Bathroom manners

You're an exchange student who just arrived in Japan. You went to use the bathroom at your host family's house, but the door was closed. It's been more than 20 minutes, and no one has come out. You think to yourself.

Casual

誰だれだろう。長ながいなぁ。

I wonder who's in there. They're taking so long.

who

・

だろう

・

long

・

なぁ

Female Voice

Male Voice

The exchange student in the example above doesn't realize that the door to the toilet room — which is often separate from the room with the shower/bath and sink — is typically kept shut in Japanese homes, even if no one is in there.

They're waiting for someone to come out of the toilet, but no one is in there.

You're staying the night at your boyfriend's place. You're pretty sure he already showered in the morning, so before you get out of the bath, you call out to him.

Casual

お湯ゆ抜ぬくー？！

Do you want me to drain the tub?

お-

・

hot water

・

pull out

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Female Voice

Male Voice

Bathwater is commonly shared in Japan. You're supposed to shower and clean your body before you get into the tub.

The speaker in the example above isn't sure if her boyfriend is going to use the bathwater after her.

Leaving a home

You're leaving your friend's house.

Formal

お邪魔じゃましました。

Thanks for having me.

お-

・

hindrance

・

did

You say this when leaving someone's house that you visited as a guest.

Female Voice

Male Voice

I (Niko) always forget to say this one when I'm leaving a house I visited as a guest. It's especially easy to forget the お邪魔じゃまする phrases when the person with me doesn't need to say it.

For example, Rei doesn't say it when we visit her mom's house, but I do.

There are many more customs to be observed in a Japanese home. Knowing the ones described above will at least greatly decrease our risk of inadvertent bad manners.